ya...so after 4 days of intense studying/cramming/random facebooking for my orgo chem exam, and learning new things until the the last few hours, i decided to call a good friend of mine who also takes the same course..
after the usual, sup?, i asked him how his studying was going preparing myself to boast the amount of studying i’d done..much to my surprise, he proceeded to literally, make me shit my pants, ok, maybe not literally, but i was very close to it..actually, i did have to go and relieve myself in the washroom after..
as panick sank in, i had to visit the washroom once again. It’s where i do my best crisis-resolving - i think it’s the soothing effect of stress “release” that opens my mind up - i was faced with two options, fail, or somehow manage to cram another chapter and do 5 past papers in 2 hours, or lie (cue in *dam dom dooomm* music)…
against my best morals, and after a lot of grunting (this has nothing to do with the fact that i was in the washroom..honestly)..it sank in, that i must to what i can to save my grade, my gpa, and ultimately my whole entire future depended on this one little midterm...(ok, i exagerate, but all great writers do)..i decided to fake a severe case of diarhea.. (even at a time like this, i was singing “when you’re climbing up the ladder, and you feel something splatter...diarrhea! diarrhea!” quietly to myself..)
i then decided to visit the doctor, and after a gruelling and very tense subway ride to dundas station, i came upon the walk-in clinic in the atrium..and after another two hour wait, where i prepared myself to fake the whole situation...the nurse finally came and asked me to follow her a room..(i must admit, she was one of the ugliest things i’ve seen in a long time..so that really helped me sour up my face for the doctor even more)..
when he walked in, the first thing he asked me if i needed a certificate, after i said yes, he just asked me what i wanted to put into the certificate, after i told him, he gave the certificate to his ugly ass nurse..she asked me to pay her twenty bux..and i was on my way, with a brand new shining ticket out of my midterm!..how crazy is that?
now my last step is to go and present the letter to the chem woman (i think her name is helen)..and i’ve beaten the frikkin’ system...how crazy is that? This can surely only be a signal for me to find the hundreds of loopholes in the system..i feel like i’ve been bestowed with a mssion, a mission to defeat the system, to be able to undermine the constitutions passed down from generation to generation of old farts…
i’m going crazy..